Wisdom. Pay attention here

Okay, you're wondering what the hell does that title mean.
Well, I don't know exactly but it is on my mind.
I would like to think that I have learned or earned a little over the past 55 years.
Here is some of what's been rattling around in my head.
As I stated earlier, "I have become too wise in my older years to be able to fool myself."
What is meant is exactly as it sounds. explain you say.
We look in the mirror day after day and we become accustomed to what we see. We don't see the extra pounds, the wrinkles, the loss of eyesight even though we know we are not what we think we are externally, we none the less go on seeing that 18 year old indestructible self that we once were. Deeper than that is what has happened to our hearts and minds through the years. We have become case hardened to disappointment, heartache, love and loss. So too have we become expectant of happiness and joy and sit in wonderment as to why these things elude us.
I would submit that they are all intricately intertwined. So it is that we find ourselves in this place. A place where only fools can find their way.
I, being such a fool have found myself with my eyes wide open. I realize I have been living with my eyes wide shut. Never thinking of my influence on the world around me, only thinking of the effect it had on me.
I have had a lot of time to think (though I been dragged kicking and screaming into the abyss) over the past 2 months of how I ended up in this place.
Doctors say it's some kind of depression called endogenous (sp excuse me) which means that it is in your DNA.
I, however, refuse to except this as being the truth and isn't it the truth that we all seek?
Whether or not you or I are predisposed to a certain ailment is irrelevant. What we choose to do about it is what matters.
So, being older and wiser, I have set forth on a journey to go where wise men fear to tread so to speak. That is, I have decided to ask myself the tough questions and answer them truthfully.
Not such an easy task. Painful yes.
I realize that I can't make things right in the moment. Things didn't get this way in a day.
I can make amends but I have to do the work and serve my time.
God is the answer but I need to do a little more exploration into exactly what the question is.
Friends are few and far between but just like a fine wine, they need special care and lot's of work.
There is a special friend that has been here along this journey and perhaps I over stepped my bounds here or there. Just know that you are still special and will always be regardless the outcome.
My wife and my daughter are my life and music is my passion. My friends have suddenly reappeared with the blessing of digital media and for that I thank Al Gore for inventing the INTERNET. Ha!
You have to learn to accept people for what they are. If you become angered by their actions, it's your fault not theirs. They can't help the way they act but you can control the affect it has on you by just accepting them or move on.
Don't burn your bridges, just don't travel them as often.
Love your neighbors as in your community but don't expect it in return. Be grateful if you get a wave or an invite.
I can't stress enough of how you need to be understanding of others actions and the affect it has on you. Anger is such a waste of time. Don't let it rent space in your head. If you chose only like minded individuals as friends you're in for a lonely life.
Choose to love your enemies. IT will make loving and forgiving your friends AND yourself for their, your, shortcomings.
Accept the fact that you may be wrong. This is a tough one for me because I am dealing with my knowledge which is admittedly limited in many cases. When you think something to be right and learn through life that it's not, man up or woman up and admit it. It's such a liberating feeling to admit that you were wrong and it opens your mind.
Read, Read, Read! I don't care if it's the Holy Bible or Isac Asimov. Reading keeps new information coming into your brain. When info stops coming in, nothing comes out.
Give everyone a second, third, fourth etc chance. In other words, learn to forgive. Forgiveness is the basis of Gods word. Read "What's So Amazing About Grace" and "The Road Less Traveled". The first being so inspiring and really talks about what Christ meant by "Forgiveness" The second a true tale of a very educated man who went from being agnostic to being a staunch believer using his scientific background as a road map.
Lear to deal with your anger. We all have it. Don't let it get the best of you. Don't ever close the door on it but deal with it in a rational manner. This may mean walking away from a good fight and looking like a loser for a time but take my word. A good fight is best waged on a pillow.
I have been posting a few of these words of wit as I write this only because I can.
To all of you reading this, there is much more but I'm sort of out of steam right now. I love you all and pray for nothing but the best for all of you and your friends and families.
JD